Boniface the Dog shares thoughts on style – Part 1

1575 words • 8 minutes
Boniface absentmindedly pawed at the ham-bone that he had been snacking on—much as how Winston Churchill would have twirled his cigar in his fingers. He and I were having lunch and just generally catching up. Although normally quite optimistic and energetic, this day Boniface was pensive and reflective—maybe he was mulling over all that he needed to do as Christmas approached.

Either way, something was on his mind and he was abnormally slow in letting me know what it was. You see, Boniface is a dog, an American bulldog to be specific, and he expresses things differently than you or I might.

Now I hope that you are not one of those people who ignores how a dog communicates with you. Those people are the kind who ignore children and exclude them from the conversation just because they haven’t yet mastered the best way of saying things. No surprise then that these people also treat dogs as mere pets and assign them a low station in life—which is very demeaning for our four-legged friends. If you were to treat Boniface as “just a dog” and ignore him, then you would miss a creature with undeniable wit, wisdom, and a good dose of savoir faire.

I met Boniface two years ago in Birmingham, Alabama and he and I have been fast friends ever since. Although he was just a pup then, he had already made some big decisions in life—including decamping from his first home and siblings and setting off for a new and unknown life—steps so big that many of us never dare to take them even if we live until a ripe old age.

One day in Birmingham a friend of mine was out for a walk, when Boniface (although that was not yet his name) fell in step with her and indicated that he wanted to join her for some exercise. Of course since Boniface is a Southerner by birth, he was a polite gentleman in how he phrased his request. My friend, also of Southern roots and steeped in hospitality, gladly welcomed his company for what better way is there to bond than a good long walk?

But Boniface was seeking more than just to stretch his legs. Feeling way too hemmed in at his current home, he was seeking new digs from which he could build the life that he envisioned for himself. But just how was he going about this endeavor you might ask? Well, first of all he had shed his collar and ID tags to hint, even if not entirely accurately, that he was free from familial constraints. He had spent many weeks keeping an eye open for someone who could fulfill his stringent requirements on dog ownership—although don’t let him hear you use that term. He much prefers partnership when it came to dog-human relationships.

His female friend Scapppy likes to see him in a cowboy get-up. Boniface prefers an ascot. They split the difference with a bandanna!

The first requirement on his “find a new home” checklist was to unearth someone with an air of compassion and in need of a dog’s companionship. As they say in matters of the heart, one never knows where lightning will strike. However, it was clear on this sunny Southern day that this match was made in heaven. Boniface immediately determined that he was going to scamper along with her until he had his new home—which, as luck would have it, is exactly what he accomplished within the hour!

Of course, from a human’s perspective, you can’t simply steal someone’s dog no matter how eager the canine appears to want to pack up and move on! So my friend did all those things you do when you come across a lost four-legged friend. She called the police, local vets, posted on Facebook, drove around the neighborhood, and looked for notices stapled onto telephone poles. Yet all this was in vain, and Boniface for his part was being coy and tight-jowled about the matter. I suspect he sabotaged those goodwill efforts to get him back to his origins because his studied look of complete innocence nevertheless belied shenanigans on his part…

Have you ever heard the old Anglo-Saxon name Boniface before? It is sadly not as popular as it was a few hundred years ago. It derives from the Latin bonifatius which combines the Latin words bonum plus fatum to yield “good fate.” In modern English we shorten this to “lucky,” and luck is exactly what this young fellow has in spades!

Now you probably would not normally recognize a Boniface if you were to meet one on the street. I assure you however, if any creature embodied the name Boniface this pup did. He latched onto this name for the ring of distinction it gave him and how it comfortably fit like a well-worn sport-coat on a cool autumn day. So, with a new leather collar, new and more upscale lodgings, new friends in the neighborhood, and new areas to explore, he was finally where he wanted to be. With a spring in his four-legged step he was ready to tackle the world.

Boniface is a particularly precocious pup. Finding himself in a home in which learning is encouraged, he learned to read, work online, and cultivate a thirst for knowledge. Some of his friends even nicknamed him “Professor” for his penchant for being a bookworm. They kidded him over his obvious lack of either his desire to doze all day, to lead his human masters (oops, remember, he uses the words human partners) on hunting and fishing outings, or to play football on the weekends. All these are good things of course, especially since he plays football with gusto, but Boniface’s interests were not solely rustic. He frequently hankers for the big city lights and the mysterious excitement that goes with them.

Naturally he enjoys all the typical things a dog of his breed does, like chasing squirrels and sparing with the local cats, but his viewing and reading habits mark him out as quite the Anglophile. He has an insatiable appetite for old British movies and books and attire and everything else that hails from that side of the Atlantic.

With his regal white coat set off by a dark spot of skin around his left eye, his distinguished look allows him to strike the pose of a scholar—especially when he cocks one ear up to listen. Yet Boniface is not aspiring to be an intellectual, but rather an honest to goodness town and country gentleman—the kind of gent who cuts firewood out in the country in the morning, chats over a cup of tea in the afternoon, and dresses for an evening on the town at dinner and the theater.

But Boniface is not just an Anglophile. He is equally enamored of the French flaneur. The flaneur is the much-loved gent in history who strolls leisurely through the metropolis and through his keen and unhurried observations soaks in anything and everything.

Don’t mistake this strolling about for laziness or being without purpose! He admires the amiable figures from England and Europe who historically cultivated an appreciation for good manners, good style, proper dress, and a pleasant comportment. He loves relaxing in front of the fire, going out for a stroll while buried deep in conversation, or having an evening out for a chat and backgammon with his chums at The Fox and Hounds pub. Nor do Boniface’s interests in the “old school ways and manners” make him a snob or a fuddy-duddy. He is neither, and in fact detests such poseurs with all his heart.

Although Boniface’s goal is to lead a leisurely gentleman’s life, he maintains the principles of his bulldog breed—loyalty, obedience, duty, and generosity. His Uncle Rex (not his real Uncle mind you, but rather a dog-friend of the family) ensures that Boniface remains grounded in his Southern roots and sniffs out and avoids anything that smacks of pretension, striving, dandyism, or foppishness. Rex taught Boniface never to adopt the aura of a striver or wannabe. Good old Uncle Rex knows what’s important in a dog’s life and is making sure young Boniface masters these lessons.

 

Listening attentively to his Uncle Rex tell him what is right and proper

 I finished my lunch and as I waited for Boniface to speak, he continued to mindlessly twirl the ham-bone in his paws. You can’t hurry him when he is thinking and I was left to wondering if he had already discussed what was on his mind with any of his closest friends—Cedric the lab, Scrappy the female Bichon, Arabella the Samoyed, Gloucester the Akita, and Zelda-Fitz (often called simply “Zel”) the Boykin Spaniel.

Finally, Boniface rustled from his reverie and made an offhand remark about Edward, Prince of Wales. As you remember, Edward was once King Edward the VIII of England until he abdicated the throne over his love for the American Wallis Simpson. After his abdication he was known as the Duke of Windsor…

Sometimes one never quite knows where Boniface is headed when he makes a remark. Typically it is not his first sentence that is the key one to decipher, but rather the second. And so I waited patiently for him to continue just as one awaits the arrival of a train into the station. Was Boniface referring to the Prince as the young gent who had been quite known as quite the man about town? The man as the love-struck King? Or rather later in life when, as the Duke of Windsor, he had been put out to pasture after deciding being the King was not for him?

More to follow…but in the meantime, stay average!

4 Comments

  1. Julie

    I loved this Neal. It is evident that it was written by someone who loves and truly pays attention to their dog partner.
    I’m off to read part two. Would you mind if I shared this with a few friends who also have dog partners?

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Thank you. Yes, please do–I would appreciate that.

      Reply
  2. JENNA LUCREE

    Great writing and great reading.

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Thank you! I appreciate the kind words. I hope to make this an occasional series.

      Reply

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